weeve.org

Recently, I had the unique experience of watching a dream die. This isn’t to say it was a positive or negative experience, but just a realization of the moment. This poem is about the dream that died and that moment.

I watched a dream die today
Though its been a while since it had any hope anyway
Still it brought back all those memories
Of dark times when you were the only light for me
Reminding me of life beyond cynicism, pain and doubt
Your beauty shines inside and out
But the demons in me kept me from telling you
Of how I felt about you

Sometimes, people just don’t take a hint. What’s worse is when those are people you once cared about. This is what the following poem is all about.

Why don’t you leave me alone
I can’t go on like this anymore
You are always depressed
I always cared more than I should
I wanted to do anything I could to make you happy
You always shut me down
You always shut me out

Anytime you needed me
I dropped everything and was there
You confided everything in me
But the one time I asked you to be there for me
You were nowhere to be found
Then I realized how one sided our relationship really was
And how I was keeping it alive by a misguided dream
So I shut you down
So I shut you out

Now you send me letters
Saying things you know you shouldn’t say
Saying things that once would hold sway
Don’t think it’s easy for me to have shut you out
It tears me apart, but I cannot continue like this
Those feelings just didn’t go away
I locked them up since they could never be used
But those feelings you continue to abuse

Leave me alone
My heart’s an open wound
Yesterday has passed and you can’t bring it back for tomorrow
When the truth came out, it hurt too much
I can’t forget that
I can’t let it go
So I have to let you go

A nice little ditty dealing with the realization that the environment I grew up in was not a representation of the real world.

Can you forgive me
It’s all I’ve ever know
Can you forgive me
It’s all I was ever shown
Can you forgive me
It’s all I’ve ever felt
Can you forgive me
It’s the hand I was dealt

These are the questions I now ask myself

This poem was inspired by the Bad Religion song Billy. It’s an attempt to convey how a song itself can be an experience independent of it’s lyrics.

the near tangability
of the aural expression
like a warm blanket
on a cold night demands
that you embrace it

wrapped within its folds
wishing it would last forever
like the doorway to
another level of existance
the precipice of epiphany

the message convied
by the plastic platform
the patterns of
consonant and vowel
fade away into the
overall experience
of sonic signifigance

Another entry from the Purple Notebook, featuring everyone’s favorite theme, introspection!

Can I let it go
It’s shaped be for so long
If It continues to go on
It’ll take me like those before
I’m starting to feel how it is to break free
But I fall back to it so easily
And the funny part is it doesn’t feel like misery

A new poem that talks about how I sometimes feel trapped by who I am and the choices I’ve made. Rock on Purple Notebook!

It breaks upon the locks
Like a swollen river
A constant battle
As to which force is greeater
When one threatens to overwhelm
The other fights back
Emotion, the cause of war
Sanity, the field of battle
Ego, the sustinance of righteousness
Control, the price to pay

Well I got sorta smart and started writing all my poems in a notebook, rather than on loose scraps of paper. Here’s the first entry from the Purple Notebook.

It was part of the essence
Of the moment
More than the mere vibration
Of particles that form the wave
It’s tangibility was almost real
It enveloped as if a second skin

The reality of it
Permeation of the senses
Of the faculties
Could supplant the one
From which it was formed

It brought upon
Near-realization
Of the idea
The sensation
The revelation
Just over the horizon

To be that close
To that moment
Was the experience

Here’s another poem from some class I was not exactly paying attention in. Presumably this was done in my last semester there as I had kinda realized how bitter I had been being towards life in general. One of those poems that looks back and says what the fuck what I thinking?

Coming from a rural town
To a place where suburbia abounds
He tries to understand this place
But it’s brashness is shoved in his face
All these things astound his eyes
And be becomes desensatized.
He escaped this reality by believing lies
And became jaded and failed to realize
That what he hated and despised
Was what was really behind those lies

Backed into a corner and failing fast
His resolve is weakening at last
Pride torn and image smashed
Seeing his flag flying at half mast